Why?

Why does this happen to me? What is his fault that he enjoyed with his friends? Isn’t that what I always tell him to do? Then why do I make him feel guilty about it? Why am I forcing my frustration and isolation on him? Why do my rejections come in way of his achievements?

He is trying to work very hard at balancing his social and academic life. I should be very happy! Then why this selfishness? What is happening to me? I used to be so open minded and lovable. Why have I changed so drastically and so quickly?

Now he sits, loosing all enthusiasm over his new ventures, wondering what wrong did he commit? How cud things be made better? Trying to find a void answer. My sweetheart is going to explore a mirage to make me happy! A mirage because there is no sane thing that is joyous!

Hmf..!!?!

I hav faced quite a number of bad people in life...

And i hav developed a tendency of brooding... a tendency of viewing every person who fails my expectations to be a traitor... a tendency of being suspicious about motives... a tendency of giving the worst swears to people who I think I hate...

Maybe the reason for this is that I don't have anybody to vent my frustration... I don't have anybody who tolerates my anger... I don't have anybody who will listen to all that I have to say and believe in me...

I have blocked communication... Because people consider me a maniac... People say I expect too much... Do I really? I wonder!

itz not today...

itz not today that im facin a problem...
itz not today that my mom duznt offer me food...
itz not today that my sister insults me...
itz not today that im misunderstood...

itz not today that i disappoint my dad...
my dad who struggles to keep me smiling...
itz not today that i let down my partner...
the things inside me just keep piling...

itz not today that my friends betray me...
they aren't there when i need them...
itz not today that i scream within...
is ther anythin left that i didn't condemn...